Rejected
A wide wine glass filled to the brim with a dark murky liquid sat on the edge of the table and a foreboding feeling bombarded me. I had been looking at social media right before I went into prayer. I saw acquaintances out having fun together flooding my feed. Boat rides, dinner parties, concerts all out with people I knew, but who never invited me.
“Lord, what are you trying to teach me by showing me this wine glass? What's inside it?”
He revealed. “Rejection, failure, judgement, loneliness, exclusion, and the feelings of being ignored and overlooked fill it.”
“That makes sense. That’s what I’m feeling, a horrible state of rejection and it’s crushing. I can’t even pick myself up to pray.”
“Dump it out. I can’t fill you if you are already full. I didn’t tell you to fill yourself with all these unfair expectations and judgements. Coveting what other people are doing instead of being thankful for what and who you have in your life. This leads to these horrible feelings that are suffocating you. Dump it out.”
I took a deep breath and waited for Him to continue, somehow knowing that He would not leave me with a directive without the strength to do it.
“I fill your cup with acceptance because of My love. I call you chosen, righteous and true, blameless, sister, friend and daughter.”
I smiled and wrote every word He had impressed upon me. But I still didn’t feel the oppressive blanket of rejection leave. I needed back-up. I texted two of my prayer groups and two other friends. I wrote. Prayers please lovely ladies. I’m battling feelings of rejection and loneliness. My warrior friends went to battle for me.
I’d like to say that the feelings lifted immediately, but it took a few hours. At church, I received fortification through corporate worship, then I taught children’s church that day, which challenged me, made me laugh, cuddled with me, and made me sing goofy songs. By the time I finished serving, my heart was restored.
Rejection is an evil tactic of the enemy. When we compare our lives to others or say. Why do they get to… Or why am I never invited to…? It gets ugly really fast. When I called in back-up and the women began to pray and send me scripture, I became strengthened in the Lord, and the heavy weights lifted.
We can’t do this life alone. Let us rejoice in who the Lord has given us to do life with.
I’d like to say that after the Lord told me to dump out rejection to receive His acceptance that I did it right away with no more complaining, but that would be a lie. I asked Him. “What other things I should do to get more friends? Should I sign the kids up for this or that?”
He told me. “Doing more stuff doesn’t get you more friends. Fully engaging where you are, does. Be present with the people I have blessed you with.”
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thess. 5:11, NIV)
Prayer for you and me: Lord, help us reject rejection. Let us enjoy in and fully engage with the people You have given us. We repent of our ungrateful status. Come alongside us and help us feel Your love and acceptance. This world is bruising our hearts. Help us to know who to reach out to for back-up. Thank You, for giving us the people You have in our lives. Amen.
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