Why the Crushing?
At this time of prayer, I was in a deep, crushing place. As the world flattened me I clung to Him. When I asked why this was happening. He explained, “This is where God solidifies your foundation in Christ, and this is where the oil is made.”
I saw what could best be described as a ladder that was more complex than any I had ever encountered. The rungs of the ladder were sturdy and thick. They offered a wide board to climb up securely. But what supported the rungs was the most unusual part. The boards lay on the backs of the saints who went before us. I saw people bowing over in prayer the ladder’s rungs laid on their backs. I never saw their faces, only a bent figure. The ladder led up into the clouds, its destination unseen.
But I had an understanding that up is where He wanted me to go.
He explained. “I want you to learn from My other humble servants. You don’t worship them, you walk on their obedience and surrendered lives to climb up the rungs of the ladder. I have chosen them to pave the way.”
“So, their relationship with You, makes a way for me?”
“Yes, and no. You can learn from their hard-earned lessons, yes. Climbing the ladder of deeper knowledge of Me and the discipline necessary to walk with me. Admire and acknowledge other people, not for their accomplishments, but for their distribution of God’s grace and their relentless obedience to Me. You can climb up the ladder, but you don’t live on their rung, you must go higher.”
The answer is no, in that you are the only one who can cultivate a relationship with Me. A relationship of obedience and surrender. In that precious place where there is often a pressing that occurs with the hardships of life that bring you into deeper love with Me. Here, your foundation is built, and your oil is produced.
“When you surrender to what I want to do with, in, for, and despite you.”
I tried to write frantically about what He was saying, still not grasping it. Knowing I would need deeper contemplation time later.
“Do not read or listen to those who don’t obey Me, rather listen to wrap around and cover yourself in the Word of God, and learn from those who are in complete surrender to Christ. Their oil of relationship developed from deep pressing and clinging to the Lord can flow through their prayers and teaching. Look for my grace. If it is there in good measure, let it over-abound in your life. If you see no grace in their lives, don’t come under their teaching. “
It was His turn for a question.
“Do you desire to be a foundation, a rung on a ladder that your children and children’s children can climb up to the next level?
Start to see the flow of your life in centuries, not decades.”
I asked, “What do you want me to do with the oil that we develop? I mean that you give me as we grow in relationship.”
He answered my question with another question. “How do I give?”
He immediately brought into remembrance this verse:
“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Eph. 3:20-21, ESV)
Even as I grasped this scripture, He beckoned me to follow into a deeper revelation. He led me to another scripture.
Jesus Anointed at Bethany (Mark 14:3-12, ESV)
“And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her. But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”
He asked, “Why was the breaking of the alabaster jar so touching?”
I grasped a peak of the top of an iceberg of understanding. “Is it because her love mirrors so closely yours? Extravagant love that doesn’t bow down to traditions or human understanding. She threw all common sense and worry about what people would think out the window to show love.”
“This scripture comes close to showing how I give. But it also shows how I want to be loved. Both things are crucial.”
I prayed. “Break open and pour out my love in abundance, wholehearted without reserve. Teach me to love You like this and to love the people you have given me this over-abundant way without reserve.”
I waited quietly.
“I do not give as the world gives. As long as your vessel is open, the anointing oil will continually fill you to overflow. My oil never runs out; I continuously supply it as long as you remain open to the pressing and the surrender that releases it to you.”
He then brought into my remembrance the scripture about the wise and foolish virgins.
The Parable of the Ten Virgins
“Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” (Matt. 25:1-13, ESV)
He explained. “The oil on and in you marks you as Mine. The story of the 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins is not about saving. It’s about pouring out, like I did at the cross. I intend for you to use what I pour into you. But first, you must have the oil to give. You only receive this oil by trusting, enduring, and clinging to Me.”
I considered this. I had always thought that the 10 virgins scripture was God saying that wise people save and are ready to give to God and the foolish spend and aren’t ready for God. It never occurred to me that the oil He gives me as I surrender in relationship to Him cannot be used up. It is always available. That, in fact, I am meant to distribute his extravagant love to others. And that it somehow marks me as His. This blew my mind, and I still don’t think I fully grasp it.
I waited.
“The oil that is on and in you that is cultivated in relationship with Me is seen by all the spiritual realm. It cannot be hidden from either side. You are marked by Me. Those in deep relationship with Me operate from a peace that confuses the world. Do not let others rebuke you and ask. Why did you break the alabaster jar and pour out all that precious liquid?”
“I’m still struggling to grasp it.”
“The wise virgins had oil because they spent time with Me and received what I desired to give them. The foolish virgins thought they could receive from Me without the sacrifice of time, hearing from and obeying Me. Those foolish people tried to go buy it when there was no time left. They always had other priorities. A surrendered walk with Me offers untold riches that you will never grasp on this side of eternity. Time with Me is never wasted and is always fruitful.”
He paused and allowed space for my mind to catch up.
“The crushing is worth it. Pour out your life to Me.”
***
I’d like to say that I’m always quick to pray and surrender. That I give sacrificially of my time and love to God and others. But there are more times than I want to admit that I cling to my reservoir of energy and guard my heart against things and people that He wants me to dive deeply into.
A deeper confession here is that I even put up walls against Him.
Are there times that you put up walls and try to safeguard your energy?
Don’t beat yourself up. Do you put up walls even against God? We’ve all been there. I think admittance is the first step and I don’t know what your personal next step is.
Lord reveal. We’re listening.
For me, I know there is a prayer group I must say yes to. He’s helping me to see it will deepen my godly relationships with new people and, most importantly, with Him.
I don’t know where you need to use your yes, and where you need to use your no.
Lord, we repent of our desire to hold on to our energy and our miserly ways we disperse Your grace. Forgive us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Prayer for you and me: Lord, help us grasp the overabundance of grace You give us. Help us prioritize time with You as essential, life-giving, and non-negotiable. Teach us more of our deep need for You. We desire to pour out to others what You give us. Thank You from our deepest understanding of Your love. Take us deeper. We are willing to pay the price. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.
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