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  • Writer's pictureHeather Roberts

Impossible waves and a hard decision

Seek first the Kingdom of God

            Rarely do I hear the purpose of the lesson the Lord has for me before I see the vision. Today I did.

            “Seek first the Kingdom of God.” God’s voice boomed, and then I saw two impossible waves. They were at 120-degree angles to each other, not quite in vertical opposition, but close.

            Awe caused my knees to tremble as I contemplated the meaning. It was obvious these waves acted in an impossible manner. They could not stand. One would have to overtake the other. Dread filled my heart. Was I required to make this decision? I did not know which side to choose. They looked identical. Which one represented the Kingdom of God?

Impossible waves and a hard decision

            “Lord how do I know? And if I make the wrong decision, what are the consequences?”

            “Daughter, listen. When you chose the kingdom of God first, this starts in your heart, the seat of your decisions. What will you choose to believe? What you see in front of you in the natural world or what I say about you and your family in the Bible?”

            “I don’t get it. How can what I decide in my heart change the outcome of what is real? The test results don’t lie.”

            “When you say you trust in Me, but then give in to the bullying of the enemy and make rash decisions based on fear, your heart is divided in its loyalty. You live in a house divided and it cannot stand.”

“But he, knowing their thoughts, said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls.” (Luke 11:17 ESV)

            Tears streamed down my face and would not stop. I ceased trying to and curled onto my side allowing the pain to overtake me in the safety of my Father’s arms. I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but when I stopped, my bathrobe was soaked with tears. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief, a weight removed. My hard decisions were laid down before the Lord and my chest moved more freely.

            “Daughter, the question you need to ask is what is the will of Your Father God for your son and your family. Seek this out first. Speak it out continually. Listen to what I say, and the rest will crash down in submission to the Maker of the universe. Everything will not be made perfect, but there is a path here for you to walk. Stay on that path. Seek My truth in all things.”

            I set myself to the work of listening to His heart and wrote down what I could discern. I would like to say this happened immediately and easily, but that would be a lie. I had to repent of unforgiveness in my life and lay down a lot of wrong beliefs before I could fully hear from the Lord.

            If you are in this place and need to hear the will of God. Don’t give up. Continue to press in. For you, it may look like reading scripture that pertains to your current situation. Or it may look like singing your favorite praise song or spending hours in prayer. For me, it was forgiving the person whom I blamed for hurting my son. It also required hours of prayer, and praise when I didn’t feel like it.

            There are times He works suddenly and times we must be persistent in seeking Him. I love when He acts immediately, but I cherish when I must push in. He knows what our hearts need. I’m happy for you if He responds instantly, and I’m thrilled if He invites you to press in. Either way, you are safe to ride out this storm in His arms.

Prayer for you and me:

            Christ Jesus, we desire to seek You first. We don’t yet know how to do that. Teach us. We submit ourselves to You. Wash out all the false beliefs we cling to so that You may restore righteous reality. Let us live Your Kingdom principles, not just read about them in Your Book. Thank you for Your mercy in our lives. We trust You with our hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


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