Failing at Receiving

Failing at Receiving

 I saw an extremely long and thin conveyor belt holding many open bottles of wine. It felt as if at any moment the bottles would tip and wine would pour out. Empty wine glasses stood at the ready. As it moved, the entire system seemed very precarious, and yet I didn’t feel worried at all. More like a bubbling excitement. I had a deep knowing that the wine bottles were open and ready to be served at a moment’s notice, and that was the main understanding the Lord wanted me to have. Overabundance of provision with no restraint.

He then reminded me of something He’d been saying to me a lot lately: that I should eat every crumb of cake that He gives me off of the plate he has served for me. To lick the plate clean. He told me in previous lessons that I should consume and enjoy the food He provides, even when it looks difficult or painful. Meaning we should eat of His provision even when it’s a difficult life lesson or serving in some way that stretches us beyond what we are comfortable with. These provisions are vital for us to consume, and He would like us to do it with joy.

“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19, NKJV)

This verse blows me away. The riches in His glory are mind-boggling. I can’t even fathom what that means. In this writing, the riches I’m talking about aren’t money. Although there are times, we need money to meet our needs. I’m talking about our need for genuine friendships, life lessons that propel us toward God, purpose, and feeling a deep sense of belonging. All these things are so important not just living but for thriving. How can we display His love if we don’t eat and drink of all that He provides? We would fall short of the design He has for us.

In this lesson He said, “Also I say, drink every cup to the fullest I give you. Each wine bottle represents a season. The cup is an assignment, a fulfilled step in the journey I have for you. It’s not sad when a wine bottle is done. Understand each season, ‘is for such a time as this’. Then there is the next season to move into.”

I looked up the definition of next in the online dictionary. Next means coming immediately after the line of writing or speaking. This is a time or season. It also means coming immediately after the present one in order, rank or space.

“Drink it to the absolute last drop, because you will need the fullness of it in the next season, order, and rank I place you in and space I move you to. You need to trust in My provision—there is no fear in it. It is complete.”

I then asked. “Why are the bottles not just water?” I asked this because I dislike wine. Sulfites give me a headache.

He replied, “This is because of how they make wine.” To get the fullness of the grape, the juice must be pressed from it. Just like there are times you need to be pressed to bring out your greatest display of the character of God within you. Then, when combined with the ingredients I supply, the juice can become wine. I use no harmful preservatives. Drink it immediately when I provide it; do not save it for later.

My mind flashed back to remembering the manna God provided in the wilderness. If they didn’t follow His instructions to the T, then the manna spoiled. The following verse and the rest of chapter 16 goes on to explain the need for trust in God. Not only in His provision for us but also in how He chooses to do it. His plans are always perfect and exactly what we need. Even when it looks scary. Especially when it looks scary.

“Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” (Exodus 16:4-5)

“Leaving what I give you for later is a sign of unbelief, a lack of faith. Drink of the fullness I have for you. Understand that I have clarified the wine to remove the dross. What I give you to drink is pure, perfect, and is only for building up and providing for every known and unknown need.”

Failing at Receiving

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a mother or why, but I have a hard time fully consuming from the goodness He gives me. Sometimes I don’t think I’m worthy, or maybe it’s for somebody else. Or I try to hold on to it for later, thinking I should ration it. Other times I don’t take the time and acknowledge the good things He is giving me. And maybe that’s because I don’t think it’s actually mine. Regardless of the reason, it’s rude. When I sit to think about it, what if I gave something to my children, and they said, “oh thanks,” and then just set it aside without fully enjoying it? I would feel sad.

Thank God we serve a perfect Savior, and He can help us to consume all He has given us. We don’t have to feel guilty that we miss the mark in our gratefulness and our struggle with receiving love. For me, it’s an ongoing battle. I hope you are doing better with it than I am.

In the comments, let me know where you are in the struggle to believe you deserve His love. I’ll take any tips you have.

Prayer for you and me: Thank You, Jesus, that we can trust what you have for us is perfect. Even when we are hesitant, You are providing for our every need. You are omniscient and know our every need, current and future. Help us live in perpetual thankfulness for what You provide. Teach us to lick our plates and drink the last drop You provide. In Jesus’ name. Amen.