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  • Writer's pictureHeather Roberts

From Futile, Exhausted and Hopeless to Joy-overflowing

From Futile, Exhausted and Hopeless to Joy-overflowing

I saw a giant plastic rolling pin attempting to flatten out the ocean. To make the scene seem even more ridiculous, the rolling pin wasn’t even going in the same flow as the ocean. It attempted to roll up and against the next crashing wave. I would have laughed had it not been so sad.

“What is going on here, Lord?” I asked.

“What you see is less futile than what you are doing.”

“Really? What am I doing?

“You are trying to conduct your life against scripture and still expect a blessing.”



The vision and conversation ended, but not before I was left exhausted.

I scrambled in disbelief to contemplate where my thought processes, and therefore actions, went against scripture. How had I let this happen?

As I prayed and pushed in for the answers. The answer began to slowly roll in and it became obvious there was more to reveal as the layers came off.

I confess I had tried to bargain, earn and negotiate with God for my healing and my son’s. This striving exhausted me and negatively impacted all my relationships.

His scripture says, “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes, we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5, NKJV)

The scriptures say by His stripes we ARE healed. So my son and I had already been healed. We just hadn’t picked it up yet. Christ already paid for our healing 2000 years ago. He finished His great work.


Futility and exhaustion entered

However, an insidious, subtle doubt had gained access to my heart, telling me I had to earn my healing. Then my deep aching desire to see my son out of pain left me with an excruciating urgency to do something to earn, and therefore, in my mind be guaranteed healing within my own time frame and specifications. How presumptuous and downright insulting.

I didn’t comprehend that Christ desired my and my son’s healing more than I did. He paid a horrific price and waits for us to lean down and pick healing up. Just like I leaned down and picked up my salvation that He freely gave me through grace. God gives our healing to us through that same grace. A grace we could never earn.

 He will not break our will even when our actions directly conflict with our desires.

I need to learn how to fully comprehend, “By His stripes, we are healed.” To know my healing is already here and I need to start praising for it. If and when I finally bring this knowledge into my being and allow it to change me. Praise will burst forth without effort as a natural consequence of comprehending His goodness.

Praise comes when we concentrate on what we have been given instead of what is missing.

Let us kick out what leaves us exhausted. 

Prayer for you and me: We repent for any of our wrong thinking or actions that go in exact opposition to scripture. We can’t expect to be blessed and not follow Your Word and will. Help us to receive all You have for us by kicking out any unrighteous thinking so that we can receive and rejoice in all You have already given. We joyfully reject exhaustion and embrace Your grace. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.


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